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226. This blonde
and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when
the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it true that if
you pull
you finger out, I'll sink?"
227. Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked
down
and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other
blonde looks
and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks."
"No.
Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguig,
and one
half hour later they were both killed by a train.
228. The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother
asked what
was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped
her.
Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell
her about
the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I
can fuck and
suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook."
229. Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock
the door of
their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its
starting
to rain and the top is down!
230. A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe
a bird flying
overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly
over
her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open,
or that would've
hit me right in the face!!!"
Or: "Good thing that cows don't fly."
231. A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to
the Pearly
Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get
to come into
Heaven, you have to pass a test."
"Oh, No!"
she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?"
said Saint Peter
Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks
with me!
Andy tells me..."
232. Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and
checked out
a book called "How to Hug"? Got back to the dorm
and found out it
was volume seven of the encyclopaedia...
233. A blonde's response to the comment, "THINK about
it!":
"I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!"
234. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and
asked the
bartender:
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: "What's a 15?"
Blonde: "7 and 7"
235. A government study has shown that blondes do have more
fun - they
just don't remember who with.
236. Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field
when they saw
a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The
driver
blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's
blondes like
that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde
replied "I
know it, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown
her."
237. ... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant
with the
slogan "Billions Served - just today"
238. Q. How can you tell that a blonde's
having a bad day.
A. She has a tampon tucked under her year, and she can't find
her pencil.
239. Q: Why are only 2% of blondes
touch-typists?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
240. Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A: An air bag.
241. Q: Why should you never take a
blonde out for coffee?
A: It's too hard to re-train them.
242. Q: What do blondes wear behind
their ears to attract men.
A: Their heels.
243. Q: Why don't blondes have elevator
jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
244. Q: Why do blondes work seven days
a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
245. Q: What's the difference between
a blonde and an ironing board?
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
246. Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?
A: Thirty minutes of begging.
247. Q: What's the difference between
a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
248. Q: What's the difference between
a blonde and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.
249. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle
and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.
250. Q: What did the blonde say when
she knocked over the priceless
Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt." |
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