|
|
|
| |
201. Q:
What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher
learning?
A: A visitor.
202. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms
on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
203. Q: How can you tell if a blonde
works in an office?
A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses'
faces.
204. Q: Why can't blondes put in light
bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
205. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink
for a blonde?
A: Perri-air.
206. Q: Did you hear about the blonde
coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still
stuck.
207. Q: Why did the blonde take her
typewriter to the doctor?
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
208. Q: When is it legal to shoot a
blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
209. Q: What is a blonde's favorite
part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
210. Q: How do you measure a blonde's
intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
211. Q: Why was the blonde upset when
she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
212. Q: What do you call two nuns and
a blonde?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
213. Q: Why did the blonde cross the
road?
A1: Forget the road, what was she doing out of the bedroom!?
A2: I don't know.
R: Neither did she.
214. Q: Did you here about the blonde
who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
215. Did you here about the blonde
that stayed up all night to see
where the sun went ? It finally dawned on
her.
216. A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when
she saw
a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking
for a minute,
she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around
an drove home.
On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that
said
"CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time
she drove eight miles, she
had cleaned 43 restrooms.
217. How about the suicide blonde,
she dyed by her own hand.
218. A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park.
The brunette
says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie."
The blonde stops,
looks up, and says, "Where?"
219. A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been
driving the
wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all
the
people were leaving.
220. A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
"Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?"
"Driver's licence? What's that?..."
"It's
a little card with your picture on it."
"Oh,
duh! Here it is..."
"May I have your car insurance?"
"What's that?..."
"It's a document that
says you are allowed to drive the car."
"Oh
this? Duh! Here you go..."
The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde
exclaims:
"Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"
221. Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron,"
then we
could do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife: Well if you would learn to Fuck me properly we
could do
without the gardener.
222. A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.
223. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb.
One of
them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing
a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and
we all fell and hurt ourselves.
224. What about the blond guy whose wife gave birth to twins?
He wanted to know who the other man was...
225. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette,
a
redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water
to the
mainlandand estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced,
"I'm
going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five
miles, and got
really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and
she was too
tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder
if she made
it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland
than stay here
and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead
had a lot more
endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before
she even
got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so
she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made
it! I think
I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles,
ten miles,
15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just
in sight,
but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam
back. |
|
|
